I’m calling it Grief Backlash….

What does backlash mean? “a movement back from an impact”. Ebb & Flow, Pain & Peace. Yeah that pretty much sums it up.
There are things in life beyond our understanding.Things we wonder if we will recover from, move forward from and be whole again from. Only God’s peace can surpass these questions. The world seems dull somedays, things are all wrong around me and I feel alittle out of place. I wonder some days where everyone is running to and from. The pain of losing Dennis still feels like someone jabbing a knife into my chest. IT seems that my recent adventure/training to Chicago caused a lot of raw emotions to surface. The last couple of days have been a whirlwind of painful emotions rushing back in. My mind has gone over and over the events of the day when I received the phone call that Dennis was so sick.
GRIEF…….There is NO time frame, No just get over-it, no just fill the hole with someone or something, No just stay busy, No just read this scripture today. It’s so much more than that. I’ve felt like throughout these last couple of days someone has had a kitchen towel spun into an oblong shape and with their quick release POW… they pop you with it. That’s the backlash. The sting of death. The impact. It’s like standing on the cliff again wondering, “where do I go from here.”
I’m still learning that the lessons of Grief are real and they are hard but thankful to know that the beauty of God’s ability to rescue is so MUCH GREATER. He can create a space for you to allow HIS power to move, to heal, to show you HOPE. The darkness begins to fade again, the fog begins to roll out and softly HIS voice becomes louder than the sorrow, His praise music begins to sing sweetly in your ear and your tears are wiped away by caring friends and your broken heart begins to mend again.
Psalms 34:8 is a faithful reminder: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”   What a Faithful Reminder…..