I felt his arms squeeze me tight as he sorta pulled me over to HIM. My head was laying on his shoulder ( well chest) and he said these words. “Kathy, I’m in love with you.” WOW…. really? With me? I think those were the sweetest words I”d ever heard. There was just something different about them this time.
I know your thinking that I said it right back. WELL… the truth is I didn’t. Infact my response was , “don’t say that”..”you don’t mean that”. I”m not comfortable with that cause everyone I”ve ever loved has left me.” I remember it just like it was yesterday. He pulled me in even tighter and he said, “Well I’m not those people and I will never leave you.” It took awhile for me to tell Dennis how much I loved him. Having been divorced prior to meeting him I wanted to be sure that if I committed to our relationship that I could remain there and that my distorted view of Love was not going to be taken into our future. I almost immediately began going to a Christian Counselor to talk about love, marriage, being left, etc. etc. On my very first visit to the Counselor I blurted out my concerns. What if He does this, what if he does that and what if I find myself divorced again? He didn’t say a word, He reached over for his bible and began to read me 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7. To be honest, I was like Yeah, Yeah, that’s in the BOOK…. I know that. Then he looked at me and said, “does this describe Dennis?” I have to admit it took me back for a moment . I was overcome with the question. “YES”, I screamed, “YES, It sure does. He is all that and MORE.” His response was, “then I’d say you’ve got yourself a keeper.” BOY was he right.
We began to dig into my past, the things I’d been through, the loss I had experienced through losing my father at 15. IT was a tuff journey that lasted about 8 months. ( PAUSE) Then one day I felt the burden begin to lift from my heart. I began to realize that Dennis meant every single thing he said. WELL…. you know the story I finally gave him, was late to our wedding but we got hitched just the same. ha
I’d never known the kind of love that Dennis showed me. He never kept score, He was always kind, always forgiving , he was just always……. People use to say , “well he deserves an award to have put up with you for 23 years.” Funny thing is, he probably did. I had finally after 23 years let my guard totally down to the truth that he truly did love me. Oh and somewhere along the way I did tell him that I loved him more than life itself. I am so thankful for all that he taught me, shared with me and how he always made me feel like I was valuable. I was in LOVE….
I say all this just in case YOU ( WIFEY) are wondering this morning if it’s worth it. Wondering what you got yourself into? Wondering if there is something better out there because things have become alittle boring at home. The spark is gone. I’m sure many of you get tired of me talking about Dennis and how wonderful he was. I tell people he surely wasn’t perfect…. but He was perfect for ME. I miss him more than any words or writings could ever tell you.
I made a lot of mistakes over the 23 years we were together but I learned some tips and tricks along the way to. Here are a few of them.
1. Stop & listen to him. Let him do the talking sometime. Let him know you value what he has to say.
2. Take the time to applaud his efforts no matter how big or small they may seem.
3. So what if the garbage didn’t get taken out… Take it yourself.
4. Got a tube of lipstick? Write him a love note on his bathroom mirror.
5. Reach over and grab his hand, hold it tight. You never know when it might no longer be there.
6. Be sexy, laugh a lot, act crazy, cook breakfast naked. Yeah, I said it. ha ha
The one thing that changed the dynamics of our marriage was when we started reading God’s word together. Over the years we read devotionals together, did a few bible studies together and MORE Than that we prayed together. Did we do it every single day? I wish I could tell you yes but I’d be lying. It was a growing process just like marriage. It doesn’t have to be some elaborate prayer, just start talking to God together.
Being a wedding Photographer for so long I heard a lot of wedding ceremonies and one of the verses that stood out to me is found in Ecclesiastes where God’s word talks about “a Threefold cord is not quickly or easily broken” That’s YOU, YOUR HUSBAND AND GOD. Put God in the center and begin to weave your life around HIM and see what a difference it makes. That should really be Number ONE if you thought I was putting this advice in some kind of order.
Now before you go thinking i’m trying to say we had it all together … we did NOT. Remember these are just the things I learned through the years. We still had disagreements and there were days I didn’t like Dennis too much and I can assure you there was many days he didn’t like KATHY. BUT we just never gave up on each other nor the promise we made on July 2, 1994….. So I ask you, “are you IN LOVE?” Love is a commitment, it requires patience, it demands your attention, it makes sacrifices, IT should take all you got until it’s gone.
Love you Dennis…..