Side kick, side ways, side winder, side note, side angle…… Many ways to talk about the SIDE. I found this little jewel late yesterday in some old photo files and my heart jumped and the Grief Wave came rushing in. You would think they would get easier and truth is they do become further apart, but this one was really TUFF. Brought me back to that very day. WE were at the beach, loving life, spending time with our kids and making memories. Those were the good ole days. Isn’t that what we say sometimes when we look back on the things that really matter. What might that be for you? Have you got some good ole days to reflect back on? I sure hope so….. I hope with each day you are making those kinds of memories.
You can tell from this picture that my sweetie had no idea I was taking this. We were actually standing up under the open air cabana at the condo. You can walk up from the beach and order you a burger and then sit against this railing and climb up on a bar stool and eat. STILL watching and listening to the ocean. Of course He had on his faithful boston hat. The one he loved and wore a lot. I still have it hanging on the back of his bathroom door. A little reminder of the person who wore it and wore it well.
Since having my retinal detachment it’s tuff sometimes to see from the side view. Hard to know sometimes when folks are beside me or approaching me from the side. But one thing I always knew ( retinal detachment or not) Dennis was always by my side. That was one of the things that tugged at my heart in seeing this picture, was knowing he is no longer there. Seems looking back I really realize just how often HE took that position. Protecting me, watching me and guiding us through life. I think I have mentioned this before, but we didn’t usually seat together in church cause I’m a front row kind of girl and he wasn’t, BUT one thing for sure… I could always look over my left shoulder to my side at any time during the service and there He would be smiling and winking back.
God is continuing to walk with me day by day through this journey. He is also by my side. Protecting me, watching me and guiding me through life. He is also winking back and saying, “you’ve got this”. SO MANY DAYS… I’m not sure, SO MANY DAYS… I wonder IF i’m going to make it but then i’ll get into GOD’s word and I am reminded that I can do “all things” , I’m reminded that LIFE is never the way we plan it all out. That HIS plan is greater than ours. I know that HE LOVES me more and more even when I don’t understand. I hope today HE IS your side view, your side winder, your side kick….
As I sit and look at this SIDE VIEW sweet husband, know that I miss you again already……

Someone wrote to me about a week ago and said, “If you are ever interested in being a “Ms Clara” to someone I will be available. ”  I hate to admit I had no idea what this young lady was talking about. “Who is Ms. Clara”, I thought, so I had to write her back and ask. She responded with, “Oh so you’ve not seen War Room?”  NOPE.  The truth is I bought the movie the day it hit the shelf for sell to the public, but for some reason didn’t watch it right then. I keep saying, “I think I’ll ask so n so over to watch it with me,” then I found out a few days later that we were going to be showing it at our church. ( which we did yesterday)  YES I waited.

WOW….. The Movie hit me from so many directions. Starting from the Loss of Clara’s husband to the pieces of paper on the closet wall, to the magnitude  of making a child feel loved and good about themselves, and the biggest thing was the confirmation of just how Great and Mighty God really is.  The greatest scene in the entire movie to me was the last scene when Ms. Clara was in her closet PRAISING GOD for HIS marvelous works and shouting his GOODNESS and GRACE.  I might have been sitting still in the sanctuary but I can tell you I was jumping and shouting on the inside. Truth is I was dancing all across the room with a bunch of amen’s in my spirit.

( side note)   one time years ago I ask Dennis if he wanted to move from Newton and move back to Jackson  where our kids were. He didn’t even hesitate to answer “NO”.  I was alittle surprised that He didn’t even think about it and you know how us women are, we can’t just take NO for an answer, we have to dig alittle deeper.  I said, why not. He then said, “look I didn’t want to come here in the first place I was just trying to make you happy.” I was so stunned, I said, “baby, you didn’t ever say that, infact you never said a word.” he replied, “nope, but I was jumping and shouting on the inside”.  That took me by surprise that day.  As you know however, he fell in love with NEWTON and always said, “this place is truly home.”

After the movie ended I sorta sat there pondering for a second over that little text I had gotten and on my ride home last night I pondered again over that little text I had gotten and as I got into the bed last night I pondered over that little text and truth is, I was pondering over it as I got up this morning.  Could I be someone’s Ms Clara.  I want to be, I would love to be but could I be?  Ms Clara was full of wisdom, she had walked the walk and talked the talk and allowed GOD to bring her through. She made a statement in the movie to some affect like, “Listen to me I didn’t use to be this way.”  That shook me to my core. She wanted her new friend to know that her stance now came from some choices, some hard roads, some lessons. FOR sure life’s obstacles, life’s hurts, life’s surprises and disappointments change us. WHEN they do, we have a choice to fight it or we can allow GOD to put the FIGHT INSIDE US to get through it with HIM.

For me … this movie has caused me to ask myself a few things. I’m gonna list a few:

• Were you the best wife you could have been to Dennis?
• Are you that person that someone thinks of when they need prayer?
• Have the things that God has brought me through been a testimony to Him?
• Do you give God enough time everyday?
• Do you have time for those who are hurting?

It was as if the spirit said to me this morning, “Kathy, check yourself.”  The truth is you can’t sit around and wonder if you’ve done enough. Should ya, would ya, could ya?  It doesn’t really matter . It’s usually too late once your thinking that.  I hope that if you don’t have a WAR ROOM you will find one. I hope that if you aren’t a Ms Clara to someone now …. you will be. I hope those things for myself as well.

Titus 2: 4&5 says this.  ” these older women must train the younger women to love their husband and their children. To live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands, Then they will not bring shame on the word of GOD.”   There are a lot of lessons there. I know that some of you right now are rebuking the words “work in the home” and “submissive”.  those words mean so much more than just the words written here. That’s another post for another time. ha

May your hearts be filled with HOPE today so that you can face anything that comes your way with WORDS and PRAYERS that overcome.   “Ms Clara,  thanks for the lesson.”