What’s your house made of ?

old house“I will huff and puff and blow your house down.” For most of us those are familiar words in an old children’s story. The Three Little Pigs. I remember hearing that story told over and over as a young child.
When Dennis and I began the process of actually moving back to Newton one of the things we started with was finding a home. We drove over several weekends and looked and looked and we kept coming back to this place. I have to admit he thought I was crazy. It was rundown, needed painting, & needed repair. It had been sitting vacant for sometime and not been given any love in some time but I was IN LOVE WITH IT. I quickly remembered being a part of girl scouts in the house next door and I thought I remembered something about it once being the Baptist Parsonage. ( found that to be true later) I remember the day we came over and met Todd to take a look inside. Oh that was a treat. I had bugged the dog out of him. Rent to own was the deal we were wanting. The kitchen cabinets were a horrible shade of baby poop green, there were walls with color crayons marks on them, the beautiful hard wood floors were not so beautiful anymore and there was no heat or air to speak of. I wish I could describe the look on Dennis face. To get to the front door you had to jump over about a 3 foot gapping hole and you couldn’t hardly even see the house for the holly bushes that were grown up around it. Sorting hiding all it’s splendor, Or at least that’s what I saw.
WELL after much conversation ( and persuasion ) we decided to buy the home. We began the process of getting it livable and we packed our big ole u-haul and headed this way. Many things have gone on in this house. WE raised our two sons, we got pregnant and lost a baby, we had many wonderful holidays , we planted a garden in the back yard ( it’s gone) and we turned our driveway into a basketball court for the boys at one time. It took us years to get this ole house back to life. Restoring it has been fun. Most of the time I would wait until Dennis left to go back off shore and then start a project. He would call home and I’d tell him about it and he would say, “WELL, I sure hope I like it.” The good news is , He always did. OR he pretended to anyway. ha To restore an old home like this takes both time and money. Truth was it took us until 7 weeks before he died to finish the last project. Hindsight is 20/20.
I found out later that Mr. Malcolm Phillips and Mr. Dan Miley had both been married in the living room of my home. I thought that to be pretty cool. Lots of history. Through the years the kids left starting their own lives and we remained. WE had lots of room to run around. I use to ask Dennis, “baby why don’t we sell this big ole house, we really don’t need all this room”. His answer never changed through the years, “Nope, It’s HOME”. The first year we lived here I put up 5 Christmas Trees. How cool is that. When I decided to strip the floors we did so while we were gone to my Son’s graduation from Marine boot camp. We moved all our furniture and personal belongings to one side of the house, hung plastic and I gave some contractor I hardly knew a key and off we went. Who does that??? So glad my honey liked the floors. He wanted them to be stained back dark and of course I had them white washed. ha ha
Having a house this size allows me to have ladies get togethers, dinners, host bridge club, bible studies and much more. I’m a firm believer this house has healing powers…. “What?” you might say. “Did she really say that.” I DID. I don’t mean that in a creepy way but in a wholesome good way. There has been so many hearts mended in this house, conversations of HOPE through the years and depression removed from my life years ago, relationships grown and I could go on and on. I know since Dennis has died this ole house has wrapped it arms around me many times. Held me close and kept me warm at night. I’ve had many ask me “are you going to stay in Newton, that house is so big for one person.” YES AND YES…. ha
I had a ladies get together here last Friday night and as the last person left and I shut the door I said, “thank you Lord for this ole house.” Please show me how I can continue to use it to honor you. My prayer is that NO THING will form against my ole house ( my inner house) and try to huff and puff and blow me down. What do you build your house on? Our main house is the one that lives within us. Our foundation is crucial in all things.
He is the only way to get through hard times, misunderstood times, feeling unloved times, not fitting in times, and all those other awkward times…. He is all that… So what is your house made of today?

 

 

Come Take A Walk With Me…

dennis relaxingFunny how we come across things that we have totally forgotten about only to have our hearts lifted yet tears rolling down our faces. COULD that be?? Joy and Tears at the same time. I think so….. NO, I know so. As I was cleaning some time ago I found the bag that I had taken to the beach September, 2014. Mine and Dennis last trip there before he died. We had found this little place a few years back ( I’ve shared other pictures about this place) and we just loved it. Just on the edge of the ocean but not facing directing on the beach therefore the “sand walkers, the volleyball players, and the bikini police” couldn’t look right in on ya. Deck was long and wide and just right for an afternoon nap.
It was time to pack up and head home. Oh that dreaded day. Seems like unpacking at the beach is nothing. You can’t hardly wait to throw your stuff down and go get your toes in the sand for the first time. BUT oh the packing up to come home.
On that particular morning I woke up early. Not sure why. I stepped out of bed ever so quietly so not to wake the “driver”. I pulled back the curtains to the deck and the sun was just peeking it’s pretty little head through the clouds. Instantly my heart was pricked to throw on something and take a walk. As I was heading out the door I grabbed one of my notebooks and a pen and took off. I got to the edge of the little pier ( well bridge ) that crossing from the condo to the actual ocean and I sat down on the steps. I was OH probably 20 yards from the waves. IT was alittle crisp on that September morning and beautiful. No footprints in the sand yet, no kids playing, just me and the sound of the waves. Truth is was just me and GOD…
As I took a seat I whispered, “good morning God”. Oh how blessed I felt at that very moment. A Beautiful Day was rising up, my honey was sleeping inside and it appeared that I had new plans of becoming a house wife. IMG_1336SEE Dennis and I had had one of the most intimate conversations we had ever had the afternoon prior. I was all upset from having had this retinal detachment and having to give up being a wedding Photographer ( something I truly loved) and not being able to work. 9 months had gone by and my spirit still wasnt settled about it. I remember his words so clearly that afternoon. He said, “Baby, why are you so upset about not being able to work? I”m not worried about it, why don’t you just concentrate on taking care of me, be a house wife for a change.” ( he laughed) Any of you who knew Dennis Know that he never wanted anything to be about HIM. A house wife, I thought, “what is that?” (you laugh) It was scary. All I had ever known was work. I have worked in some capacity since I was 15 years old. Was either in school and working or worked two jobs to raise a child on my own for years. ‪#‎foodstampline‬. That afternoon was a sweet time. One of the photos you see here is one Dennis snapped of me on his cell phone as we were sharing. We are sitting outside Starbucks in Destin and truth is I didn’t even know He took this until going through his cell phone not long ago. It literally took my breath away.
WELL, back to the pier. I opened my notebook and began to write. Wasn’t sure what I was suppose to write so I just allowed my heart to lead. This is what came forth….. “COME TAKE A WALK WITH ME.” ( what I wrote)
As I sit on this small per this morning listening to the waves it’s as if I can hear your voice speaking to me. Softly at first and then you seem to come crashing in. As the sun begins to make it’s grand appearance rising above the clouds. I can almost hear you saying “Good Morning sweet child of mine… IT’s a new day”. The sun is a reminder that today is a new beginning, a new opportunity to grasp life. Am I actually engaging in life, enjoying life? Am I allowing YOU to be the center of it all, I ask. We seem to get so busy rushing around trying to gather up things that truly don’t do a thing for our souls. They are temporal…. Here today…. gone tomorrow.
What seeds am I planting in my life that cause you GOD to shine? What in my life causes others to see you as a sunrise? I have the capability to shine on others. BUT DO I?
Is what I am doing every day leaving an impression for you? A Path for you? Is it changing lives for you? There is nothing but raw truth at the foot of the cross. I think in my life I sometimes tend to leave you there, hanging on that cross but Oh how alive you really are, wanting to commune with me.
Help me O lord to see life with my spiritual eyes and not my earthly eyes, help me to know that your spirit surrounds me, guides me and refines me. May your spirit mold me, make me into the person, the child, you want me to become.
beach umbrellasForgive me for my short-comings, forgive me for being weak and giving in to sin. Help me to RISE ( like the sun) and be a light. It’s only in you Lord that I will become whole. In this life I will experience pain and loss but in you Lord help me to find everyday a day of celebration. Help me Lord to find your Amazing Grace.
As I look off to my right and left I see restricted dunes. “KEEP OFF” the signs say. Among what appears to be nothing more than plugs of weeds and sand… well your growing something there. Beautiful little flowers will appear, yellow and orange in color. Bright like the sunrise. They just sorta pop up out of nowhere to show their beauty. Do those little flowers represent me? What are you growing inside of Me? What areas of my life seem to be restricted? You surround me like these forbidden dunes, with the warmth of your love, protecting me and growing me for greater work.
From the seed you formed in me new growth becomes possibilities and possibilities become opportunities and opportunities come to life in YOU.
I hear you Lord. I hear your voice riding on the waves. “You my Child are worthy. Rest in Me. Be still for a while and get to know Me”. “Let me Love on YOU… Come take a walk with me.”
WELL there you have it. My heart cry on that September morning. NOW… imagine what I thought when I found this months after Dennis had died. Was God preparing my heart that very morning to fix my eyes on HIM? Was He preparing my heart for circumstances that I could never imagine? I think SO.

“The Delivery Room…”

hospital-207692_640Hopefully I just got your attention. That was the title of my Pastor’s sermon yesterday. Let me ask you a question that was ask of us yesterday. “do you really trust GOD to bring forth the things in you that He is trying to accomplish and develop?” What has God been trying to work out in your life? My life? How long will it take for you to DELIVER? When Pastor spoke those words yesterday it was like an ICE PICK jamming me in the chest.
Looking back it appears I’ve fought my entire life to NOT DO what I felt God calling me to do at 15. Now for those of you who have problems with math like me, that’s a 46 year problem. That’s 6 years past the 40 spent in the wilderness. What about you? Could there be something in your own life that GOD has been asking you to do or something He wants you to accomplish that you’ve turned your back on?
How long will you Labor? The good news is, It’s NOT TOO LATE…. Life can definitely get you off track. Too busy, too costly, too demanding, what might people think and the list goes on. GOD however is standing still just waiting for you to SEEK HIM OUT. He has the plan, he is holding it in HIS hands and He is simply waiting for you to DELIVER……
In John 16:21 scripture says “It will be like a woman suffering the pains of labor. When her child is born, her anguish gives way to joy because she has brought a new baby into the world.” The scriptures prior to this one talk about being in anguish and grief and coming back to JOY…. Something I”m learning now.
So are you holding back from GOD? Are you in anguish over that “thing” He has pricked your heart to do but you’ve never done? I can relate cause in my own life i’ve used every excuse whether I did so willingly or unaware. WILL you join me in 2016 and SEEK GOD with your whole heart? It doesn’t mean being perfect, it doesn’t mean we still won’t slip from time to time, it doesn’t mean you have to give up living… IT simply means you have to DELIVER…..