Affirmations

Funny how we come across things that we have totally forgotten about only to have our hearts lifted yet tears rolling down our faces. COULD that be?? Joy and Tears at the same time. I think so….. NO, I know so. As I was cleaning some time ago I found the bag that I had taken to the beach September, 2014. Mine and Dennis last trip there before he died. We had found this little place a few years back ( I’ve shared other pictures about this place) and we just loved it. Just on the edge of the ocean but not facing directing on the beach therefore the “sand walkers, the volleyball players, and the bikini police” couldn’t look right in on ya. Deck was long and wide and just right for an afternoon nap.
It was time to pack up and head home. Oh that dreaded day. Seems like unpacking at the beach is nothing. You can’t hardly wait to throw your stuff down and go get your toes in the sand for the first time. BUT oh the packing up to come home.
On that particular morning I woke up early. Not sure why. I stepped out of bed ever so quietly so not to wake the “driver”. I pulled back the curtains to the deck and the sun was just peeking it’s pretty little head through the clouds. Instantly my heart was pricked to throw on something and take a walk. As I was heading out the door I grabbed one of my notebooks and a pen and took off. I got to the edge of the little pier ( well bridge ) that crossing from the condo to the actual ocean and I sat down on the steps. I was OH probably 20 yards from the waves. IT was alittle crisp on that September morning and beautiful. No footprints in the sand yet, no kids playing, just me and the sound of the waves. Truth is was just me and GOD…
As I took a seat I whispered, “good morning God”. Oh how blessed I felt at that very moment. A Beautiful Day was rising up, my honey was sleeping inside and it appeared that I had new plans of becoming a house wife. SEE Dennis and I had had one of the most intimate conversations we had ever had the afternoon prior. I was all upset from having had this retinal detachment and having to give up being a wedding Photographer ( something I truly loved) and not being able to work. 9 months had gone by and my spirit still wasnt settled about it. I remember his words so clearly that afternoon. He said, “Baby, why are you so upset about not being able to work? I”m not worried about it, why don’t you just concentrate on taking care of me, be a house wife for a change.” ( he laughed) Any of you who knew Dennis Know that he never wanted anything to be about HIM. A house wife, I thought, “what is that?” (you laugh) It was scary. All I had ever known was work. I have worked in some capacity since I was 15 years old. Was either in school and working or worked two jobs to raise a child on my own for years. ‪#‎foodstampline‬. That afternoon was a sweet time. One of the photos you see here is one Dennis snapped of me on his cell phone as we were sharing. We are sitting outside Starbucks in Destin and truth is I didn’t even know He took this until going through his cell phone not long ago. It literally took my breath away.
WELL, back to the pier. I opened my notebook and began to write. Wasn’t sure what I was suppose to write so I just allowed my heart to lead. This is what came forth….. “COME TAKE A WALK WITH ME.” ( what I wrote)
As I sit on this small per this morning listening to the waves it’s as if I can hear your voice speaking to me. Softly at first and then you seem to come crashing in. As the sun begins to make it’s grand appearance rising above the clouds. I can almost hear you saying “Good Morning sweet child of mine… IT’s a new day”. The sun is a reminder that today is a new beginning, a new opportunity to grasp life. Am I actually engaging in life, enjoying life? Am I allowing YOU to be the center of it all, I ask. We seem to get so busy rushing around trying to gather up things that truly don’t do a thing for our souls. They are temporal…. Here today…. gone tomorrow.
What seeds am I planting in my life that cause you GOD to shine? What in my life causes others to see you as a sunrise? I have the capability to shine on others. BUT DO I?
Is what I am doing every day leaving an impression for you? A Path for you? Is it changing lives for you? There is nothing but raw truth at the foot of the cross. I think in my life I sometimes tend to leave you there, hanging on that cross but Oh how alive you really are, wanting to commune with me.
Help me O lord to see life with my spiritual eyes and not my earthly eyes, help me to know that your spirit surrounds me, guides me and refines me. May your spirit mold me, make me into the person, the child, you want me to become.
Forgive me for my short-comings, forgive me for being weak and giving in to sin. Help me to RISE ( like the sun) and be a light. It’s only in you Lord that I will become whole. In this life I will experience pain and loss but in you Lord help me to find everyday a day of celebration. Help me Lord to find your Amazing Grace.
As I look off to my right and left I see restricted dunes. “KEEP OFF” the signs say. Among what appears to be nothing more than plugs of weeds and sand… well your growing something there. Beautiful little flowers will appear, yellow and orange in color. Bright like the sunrise. They just sorta pop up out of nowhere to show their beauty. Do those little flowers represent me? What are you growing inside of Me? What areas of my life seem to be restricted? You surround me like these forbidden dunes, with the warmth of your love, protecting me and growing me for greater work.
From the seed you formed in me new growth becomes possibilities and possibilities become opportunities and opportunities come to life in YOU.
I hear you Lord. I hear your voice riding on the waves. “You my Child are worthy. Rest in Me. Be still for a while and get to know Me”. “Let me Love on YOU… Come take a walk with me.”
WELL there you have it. My heart cry on that September morning. NOW… imagine what I thought when I found this months after Dennis had died. Was God preparing my heart that very morning to fix my eyes on HIM? Was He preparing my heart for circumstances that I could never imagine? I think SO.