PLAN B…..

ByKathy Stephens

PLAN B…..
Bought this little book of encouragement today cause the title sorta jumped off the shelf at me. PLAN B… I thought for a moment. That’s exactly where I am or so I thought at first. I would describe living without my sweet husband definitely as PLAN B…. Never ever did I think that I would have to endure life without him. He was my rock, my go to , my PLAN A. BUT THEN…..
As I read Jeremiah 29:11 I am reminded that my PLAN is also GOD”S PLAN. I bet this verse is quoted more than any others. I found that a lot of people quoted it to me during those first hours, weeks and months of Dennis Death.
It says, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. ” There’s that word again…. HOPE, the one word that GOD has been speaking into my ears over and over for the past year and without it we would all perish. GOD knew Plan B was coming, God knew exactly how I would be feeling tonight. He also knows how close I have to stay to HIM to understand, to move forward, to breathe. I hope that if you say to someone, “God has a plan” you’ve been through the PLAN….

What God showed me years ago about this verse was almost embarrassing. I was actually right in the middle of teaching a bible study at my home and had just quoted this verse and as usual I heard a few Amen’s from the ladies. BUT in that very instant it was as if I heard God say, “KEEP READING”. So I will share it with you now. BUT first let’s go back to Jeremiah 29:11 I’m now quoting from THE MESSAGE VERSION. ” I have it all planned out. plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.”
Sounds personal doesn’t it??? IT IS…..
NOT listen closely to verse 13 & 14 ” When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen. When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I”ll make sure you won’t be disappointed”. WOW !!! there it is. Plan B just became Plan A again. Did you see it?
The day God showed this to me, tears just began to fall down my face. I use to claim verse 11 for MINE all settled in and self assured BUT he showed me years ago that I have to come LOOKING, I have to SEEK HIM…. I finally know what that looks like.
GOD has a plan alright…. HE also has a PLAN for YOU…. In your weakest Plan, He is strong, in your saddest plan , he is happy , in your PITIFUL plan, He is the KING OF KINGS and is waiting on you to COME looking for HIM.
I spent some time at the cemetery this afternoon… That’s the sunset just as I was leaving. That’s PLAN A….

PLAN B IMG_4108

Baby, I need a Passport

ByKathy Stephens

baby I need a passportSo many times through the years of Dennis working off shore I would say to him, “Baby I need a passport”. He would laugh and say, “why, you don’t even like to fly.” And the last we made a special trip to NOLA to get his passport renewed I said it again, “baby I need a passport”. He laughed…..

This time, this very night a year ago I was nervously getting ready for bed knowing that I was getting up at 5am to head to NOLA to finally get a passport so that I could get on a plane to fly to TRINIDAD to see my sweet, yet sick husband.

Having had several conversations earlier that day with doctors and other people I was told that He could not be flown home, he was too sick. Rowan immediately started the ball rolling to get me and Chris (Dennis’ Son) to Trinidad as soon as possible. I remember I could hardly sleep that night. I tossed and turned and watched the clock the entire night. I was so anxious to get there. I just wanted to see him, hold his hand and talk to him.

We hit the road about 5am cause we had to be there by 8 to get a medical emergency passport printed out so we could catch our plane out of New Orleans by 4. Just as we walked into the Government building and entered the passport office I got a call. “Good Morning Kathy, well i’ve got bad news and good news which do you want first?” I remember my heart sinking but yet I was clinging to the HOPE that I could get to HIM. I think for the very first time in my life I FELT TOTALLY HELPLESS…. I remember looking out from the 14th floor of the government building gazing over the city of New Orleans and for a moment thinking about us having just been there 6 weeks earlier on a little get away and then as quick as I had that thought my mind came back to the voice on the other end of the phone. The bad news he said was that his kidney’s were failing and they were heading to dialysis with him and the good news he said was that they had talked to some private medical flight team who said they thought they could get him home.I was miles away from the love of my life and I knew He needed me. At that moment it was music to my ears… Chris and I would wait for a couple of hours, get our passports and get ourselves to the airport. New tickets Ordered. Now we were flying to Fort Lauderdale rather than Trinidad and we would see Dennis about 10:30 that night.

I don’t remember a time that my heart has ever beat so fast and my anxiety was at an all time high. Dennis was right, I didn’t like to fly but I remember almost running through the New Orleans airport so that I could get to Fort Lauderdale and get my husband off the incoming plane.

I remember as we sat out on the tarmac waiting for take off I began to pray intently for safety for us and BIG TIME safety for Dennis. The honest truth is I had very mixed emotions about what was taking place. Within a 10 hour time frame I had been told “no way he can fly”, to “oh, we are gonna fly him home”. TRUTH is my prayer had changed after I got the word they were flying him home to “God just get him on the ground so that I can talk to HIM”…… Please GOD ……. I remember I was screaming so loud on the inside I knew others could hear me. PLEASE GOD…. Please.

There is a song by Sam Smith called, “Stay With Me’, you may or may not be familiar with it but for some reason it began to play over and over in my mind as we flew from New Orleans to Fort Lauderdale. It was my heart song, my heart’s cry to my sweet husband. Please., “oh won’t you…. STAY WITH ME…..”

That was the longest night of my life. Our plane landed in Fort Lauderdale and I remember it was wet and cold and truth is I didn’t even care. I was beginning to go numb all over. Dennis’ Flight…. well what was suppose to be a 3 hour flight turned into a 6 hour flight . The night began to go array and my life would never be the same. Time was not on our side.

Ecclesiastes 9:11 ” the race is not to the swift, Nor the battle to the strong, Nor bread to the wise, Nor riches to men of understanding, Nor favor to men of skill; but TIME and chance happen to them all.”

The passport… WELL I never used it…

Looking Back…

ByKathy Stephens

Kathy taking a photoWhat do you see when you look at this picture? YEAP… pretty simple, me taking a photo. As a Photographer sometimes you have to get in a crazy position to get the best shot. What you don’t see is the person taking the photo of me taking the photo. That would be my sweet husband. Many of you don’t know this but the first date He ever took me on was a trip down the Natchez Trace to this historical church and what did he have around his neck….. YEAP a camera. It was his hobby when we met. He had such an eye for detail. Infact there were a few times He actually went with me to shoot a wedding but that “me being the boss thing” didn’t last too long. ha ha

This was shot in NOLA, one of our favorite get away places and this was shot on October 29th, 2014…. I handed him a camera and said have fun. Of course I had no idea he had shot this until getting home and uploading these photos. I laughed to myself cause he was “sneaky” like that. Probably my greatest supporter through all those years of shooting weddings. When I would be freaking out about a big event he would calmly say, “baby, you got this”. That’s sorta what this photo reminds me of. He was just hanging out off behind me saying, “baby you got this”. ( this was our last little get a-way together)

Little did I know that one month later November 29th, 2014 I would get that dreaded phone call saying HE WAS VERY SICK and had been air lifted off the rig. That phone call began 2 days of unknown events that would eventually change my life forever. Today I am reflecting on that call, what was said, how I felt and the anticipation of not knowing…. BUT even in that….. TODAY I’m sharing a “NUGGET” with you that weaves HOPE into my thoughts and even in the midst of me re-living those events , THIS little SHOT, this little “you got this baby, This little unexpected nugget MAKES ME SMILE…..

If you are re-flecting today, re-living a tragic event today I pray that you will search for the “nugget”, the “Shot” that could brighten your day. Hebrews 6:19a ” This Hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast.” .