26 Degrees… Really?

ByKathy Stephens

blanket of hugsWELL the weather channel says that it’s going to be 26 degrees tonight. That’s cold. I stepped outside alittle bit ago to let my dogs out and got a chill to the bone. Almost immediately I felt my heart sink. I use to do crazy things like stand outside waiting on the DOGS and then run inside freezing cold and stick my hands on Dennis and jump in his lap and say, “warm me up”? He would of course always say, “baby stop it, your hands are freezing.” Boy what I would give to hear those words tonight.

I haven’ t shared this before but this is the blanket I had made out of Dennis’ t-shirts. The blanket is very heavy. When i bought the batting for it the sweet lady that made it said, “oh kathy this batting is so thick.” I said well I want it to last. She laughed and said, “well this blanket will be here long after you are.” I’m so glad .

Tonight I got to get it out and i’ve been sitting under it thinking on my sweet husband. It’s definitely not his sweet arms but it helps in it’s own little way. As I look down on the blanket I see many T-shirts from our travels, his favorite baseball team, work logo’s and there near the center is his “MY WIFE ROCKS” shirt. etc.( yeah i made him wear it ha ha) It is a remembrance of HIM.. RIGHT now I sure could USE one of his HUGS. He had the best.

The first time we ever hugged I felt so safe. It was truly like nothing I’d ever felt before. I use to tell him that that was what Stole my heart. Stole it then and still stealing it NOW.

Stand Tall…

ByKathy Stephens

stand tallAs I left from photographing a sweet family Sunday afternoon this is what I saw. I stopped along this drive and rolled down my window and thought how quiet it was and how alone I felt at that very moment. I couldn’t get to my camera so I reached and grabbed my phone and shot this. In that moment the whisper of the spirit spoke to me. It was as if I heard Him say, “Look at that tree”. It was standing there all alone in that field YET STANDING TALL. It was as if a voice was saying, ” do you know how many storms this tree has weathered to get this big and tall?”… ” Really GOD?”, I whispered back. Been through a bunch of those in my life.

As the days and now months have gone by since Dennis’ death I’ve questioned my existence. What do I do from here, where do I spend my time, how do I walk this out? I’ve asked God more than once “what am I suppose to be doing?” Truth is I”m learning that our lives are NOT in the doing, but in the BEING….

Today as I was reading God’s word I came across one of my favorite verses in Isaiah. It’s a verse that I’ve clung to for years when I was going through the hurt and pain of something. Here it was again and I immediately thought about the picture I snapped on Sunday. I thought about this tree and the whisper. I want to share it with you. It’s Isaiah 61:3 “To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the Lord, that he may be Glorified. ”

So If your going through some hurt and pain right now I pray that you will find comfort in this verse as well. I pray that you will allow yourself to be ROOTED in Christ, Stand Tall. Weather the Storm….

What are you BECOMING???

ByKathy Stephens

becomingThrough out my life I have done a lot of things. UNLIKE my husband who worked at the same job for 30 years. I’ve owned a State approved Day Care, Owned a nail salon, been to nursing school, taught art to elementary students, Been a wedding Photographer, worked on Capital Hill, built spec homes, sold real-estate and i’ve always laughed and said “if God had given me boobs i’d probably have been a stripper”. I KNOW, I KNOW. some of you are gasping for air right now. ha SORRY….. it’s a joke but probably does have alittle truth mixed in cause I do love to dance. (side note: it was just sorta true when I was much younger)… It seems that i’ve never really known what I wanted to be when I grow up.

Over the past couple of weeks i’ve had the privilege of visiting with a friend of mine as she watched her husbands health decline and who ultimately went to be with the LORD and this morning my day started out with a 7am phone call from an official asking me to come to another friend of mines home cause her husband had just passed away. I say privileged cause it truly has been. My heart breaks for both of them. I know what they are facing. This doesn’t make me special but because of my journey, it make me broken, it makes me available, it makes me….. well it allows me to know what that truly feels like. I just hope that in some small way my pain can become a source of help for another. It has once again reminded me that life is truly fragile and sometimes short. It then reminds me to remind you of that fact in hope that you will take an extra moment tonight, tomorrow or next week to spend some extra time with someone you care about.

I’ve been asking GOD a lot of questions as I approach the year anniversary of my sweet husband’s home-going. “what would you have me to do Lord?”. That’s been a big question. I’ve told him that I will do what ever He ask me to do but truth is I’ve begun to realize that it’s not about DOING… it’s about becoming….. I saw this inspirational quote the other day and I’ve been pondering over it ever since. It’s so true of my life. I’m becoming. Many things about my life have been taken away and GOD is brining new things into my life and I PRAY that I can truly BECOME what HE has meant for me to BE all along.

What journey are you on? What are you becoming??? The word BECOME means to undergo change or development. GOSH I sure need that. What about YOU???