I realize now that the last 9 months has been a fog. I”ve been out and about, I’ve been staying busy, but I’ve literally been in a fog. Most days I’ve been screaming on the inside while smiling on the outside. . Sounds crazy doesn’t it. IT WAS, IT IS…..

I now know so much more about grief than I ever knew before. I know why my mother responded the way she did at 36 when my birth father died, I know now why a friend of mine became so depressed she had to be hospitalized, I know now how your heart can be so broken that you can truly feel the crack and you feel it is totally unrepairable. I’ve learned that your age bears a lot of weight on HOW you grieve. Grief is a MONSTER this I know, because my life has told me so. BUT…. I ALSO KNOW that the verses that say “I will never leave you or forsake you” are PROFOUND.

In recent days those have been the ONLY words that I could hear. The only words that I wanted to hear.

This past week, not sure what day it was, I began to wonder what it would feel like to actually look to the future, something I’ve not been able to do since Dennis died. I had a visual of myself standing there looking down at what could have been the starting line for a race. Then came this soft voice saying, “Kathy, can you move forward?” ” Kathy, just one day at a time.” ” Kathy, just trust me “. Then I heard those scriptural words again but they seemed SO much more personal. HE SAID….. “Kathy, I will never leave YOU or forsake YOU “.

He has promised me that. He has promised YOU that. No matter how sad we are, how lonely we are, how we feel or what we think the future does or does not look like, that’s HIS promise. There are many reminders of this promise throughout His word.

David says in Psalm 143: 6 ” I spread out my hands to You; My soul longs for You like a thirsty land.”

How about you? Are YOU THIRSTY? Do you have a need? Are you seeking encouragement? Does your soul long for HIM?”

Spread out your hands…… He is waiting.. WHY? Because He never leaves us or forsakes us.

The “marker/rock” is something that I gave to Dennis on his birthday many years ago as a “happy”. It says Grow Old with me, the Best is yet to be. Well you can read the words. I remember the day we planted the rock ( for a lack of a better word) right here beneath this tree. This tree is home to many bird feeders and It would supply a little shade some afternoons when we sat out back. Truth is it’s the only tree in my backyard so it’s pretty important. This marker/rock has been covered up by dirt and leaves and other debris through the years but every so often I will go out and sweep it off and think to myself, “growing old with this man is going to be great.”

This morning as I was out playing with my Boxer his ball rolled over to this tree. I went over to pick it up and as I bent down I saw it… the marker/rock. Immediately my heart was heavy but I began vigorously cleaning it off. My Boxer was like, “hey what about me”. I kept brushing it off and I grabbed a stick to clean out the words. As I did that I began to reflect on the day we placed it here . Oh what a happy time that was.

Just about the time I got it all cleaned off I thought to myself, “well this will never happen now” but then I had an almost immediate second thought. I thought, Kathy, truth is, IT ALREADY HAS…. Dennis gave me the BEST 23 years of my life. There is no best to come. It has already COME…. I”m so thankful for that… This marker/rock will remain as a reminder of HOW He gave his all to me and to our family. HE taught me to BE The BEST that I could BE. He always pointed me to the GOOD in everything. He always had my back. He was my rock. Sounds a little cliche since this post is about just that. ( a rock)…

I hope in your lifetime that you have found someone who makes you BETTER and that with them life is SWEETER. I hope that you have someone that you can look at each and every day and say, “Grow Old with me, The Best is Yet to Be.”

John 16:20 “Most assuredly, I say to you that you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice; and you will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will be turned into joy. ”

Revelation 21:4 “And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”