In Love…

ByKathy Stephens

In LoveI felt his arms squeeze me tight as he sorta pulled me over to HIM. My head was laying on his shoulder ( well chest) and he said these words. “Kathy, I’m in love with you.” WOW…. really? With me? I think those were the sweetest words I”d ever heard. There was just something different about them this time.

I know your thinking that I said it right back. WELL… the truth is I didn’t. Infact my response was , “don’t say that”..”you don’t mean that”. I”m not comfortable with that cause everyone I”ve ever loved has left me.” I remember it just like it was yesterday. He pulled me in even tighter and he said, “Well I’m not those people and I will never leave you.” It took awhile for me to tell Dennis how much I loved him. Having been divorced prior to meeting him I wanted to be sure that if I committed to our relationship that I could remain there and that my distorted view of Love was not going to be taken into our future. I almost immediately began going to a Christian Counselor to talk about love, marriage, being left, etc. etc. On my very first visit to the Counselor I blurted out my concerns. What if He does this, what if he does that and what if I find myself divorced again? He didn’t say a word, He reached over for his bible and began to read me 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7. To be honest, I was like Yeah, Yeah, that’s in the BOOK…. I know that. Then he looked at me and said, “does this describe Dennis?” I have to admit it took me back for a moment . I was overcome with the question. “YES”, I screamed, “YES, It sure does. He is all that and MORE.” His response was, “then I’d say you’ve got yourself a keeper.” BOY was he right.

We began to dig into my past, the things I’d been through, the loss I had experienced through losing my father at 15. IT was a tuff journey that lasted about 8 months. ( PAUSE) Then one day I felt the burden begin to lift from my heart. I began to realize that Dennis meant every single thing he said. WELL…. you know the story I finally gave him, was late to our wedding but we got hitched just the same. ha

I’d never known the kind of love that Dennis showed me. He never kept score, He was always kind, always forgiving , he was just always……. People use to say , “well he deserves an award to have put up with you for 23 years.” Funny thing is, he probably did. I had finally after 23 years let my guard totally down to the truth that he truly did love me. Oh and somewhere along the way I did tell him that I loved him more than life itself. I am so thankful for all that he taught me, shared with me and how he always made me feel like I was valuable. I was in LOVE….

I say all this just in case YOU ( WIFEY) are wondering this morning if it’s worth it. Wondering what you got yourself into? Wondering if there is something better out there because things have become alittle boring at home. The spark is gone. I’m sure many of you get tired of me talking about Dennis and how wonderful he was. I tell people he surely wasn’t perfect…. but He was perfect for ME. I miss him more than any words or writings could ever tell you.

I made a lot of mistakes over the 23 years we were together but I learned some tips and tricks along the way to. Here are a few of them.

1. Stop & listen to him. Let him do the talking sometime. Let him know you value what he has to say.
2. Take the time to applaud his efforts no matter how big or small they may seem.
3. So what if the garbage didn’t get taken out… Take it yourself.
4. Got a tube of lipstick? Write him a love note on his bathroom mirror.
5. Reach over and grab his hand, hold it tight. You never know when it might no longer be there.
6. Be sexy, laugh a lot, act crazy, cook breakfast naked. Yeah, I said it. ha ha

The one thing that changed the dynamics of our marriage was when we started reading God’s word together. Over the years we read devotionals together, did a few bible studies together and MORE Than that we prayed together. Did we do it every single day? I wish I could tell you yes but I’d be lying. It was a growing process just like marriage. It doesn’t have to be some elaborate prayer, just start talking to God together.

Being a wedding Photographer for so long I heard a lot of wedding ceremonies and one of the verses that stood out to me is found in Ecclesiastes where God’s word talks about “a Threefold cord is not quickly or easily broken” That’s YOU, YOUR HUSBAND AND GOD. Put God in the center and begin to weave your life around HIM and see what a difference it makes. That should really be Number ONE if you thought I was putting this advice in some kind of order.

Now before you go thinking i’m trying to say we had it all together … we did NOT. Remember these are just the things I learned through the years. We still had disagreements and there were days I didn’t like Dennis too much and I can assure you there was many days he didn’t like KATHY. BUT we just never gave up on each other nor the promise we made on July 2, 1994….. So I ask you, “are you IN LOVE?” Love is a commitment, it requires patience, it demands your attention, it makes sacrifices, IT should take all you got until it’s gone.

Love you Dennis…..

Do You Ever Wonder?

ByKathy Stephens

Do You Ever WonderIt is so easy to get caught in the trap of asking questions “God what have I contributed? “, “God what do I do NOW?”
“God Where do I fit in?”
“God where do I find peace?”

Just today a friend of mine and I were talking . It wasn’t just any conversation. It was the kind where you share your deepest fears and concerns. The kind of conversation where you both agree that “this is a job for GOD”. She said something to me about a sign. She said Seek God . She said Ask God to show you something.

A few hours later He did just that.

About 3:30 I opened my mailbox to find a handwritten note from Jessica. I looked at the return address and thought ” who is this, I don’t recognize the name”.

I opened the note and as I read her words,tears began to fall. It was from a Bride whose wedding I shot 10 years ago thanking me and reminding me of sharing in her day. I sat there truthfully dumbfounded at first but then I thought ” oh wow, I’ve got to show this to Dennis, he isn’t gonna believe this. Then I thought, “well Kathy you won’t be doing that.”

My next move was to drive it straight to the friend whom I had the conversation with earlier about reminders, signs, and getting close to God.

10 years ago I captured this young Bride’s wedding and God chose today to deliver this special note to me.

10 years of shooting weddings and almost 400 weddings later someone still took the time to say thanks. Jessica will probably never know the impact her sweet note had on me today but it was a sign ( as silly as some of you might think that sounds ) that our actions do matter. Our time is precious and how we use it to impact others lives is crucial. I say all that not to shine a light on me, but to shine the light on the awesomeness of Christ. His plan, his purpose and His goodness. Thanks God for showing up and thanks Jessica for being obedient. And last but not least thanks Karen for listening to me today. Jessica says in the note that this is “out of the blue,” but we know it wasn’t.

The truth hurts….. Can I be honest? Warning…. LONG POST !!

ByKathy Stephens

Over these last few months I’ve struggled to hear GOD’s voice. The hunger for His instruction has increased. I want him to shout it out, make no mistake, just give it to me straight. There have been many times in my life when I knew exactly what God was saying, what he was asking me to do and how He was guiding me. That has not been the case since Dennis died. Is it just me OR DO YOU sometimes have trouble hearing God’s Voice?
I’ve been wondering why I can’t seem to hear him as well these days and truth is a friend of mine and I were just having a conversation about it tonight. You know those friends whom you can be transparent with. Just as I finished getting ready for bed I came and sat down to check the weather for the week and I glanced at my emails one last time and it just sorta JUMPED out at me. “CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? ”
INSERT NOW. ( article from Proverbs 31 women)
Can You Hear Me Now? LEAH DIPASCAL
“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.” John 10:27 (ESV)
Maybe you’ve heard someone say, “The Lord told me _____” or “I’ve sensed the Lord saying _____ to my heart.” Did it make you wonder if you could discern God’s voice too?
Maybe like me, you’ve wondered: Is it really possible to hear God’s voice? Can I know when He is speaking to me? Maybe that was just a random thought? What if I make a decision based on what I think God is saying and then discover I was wrong … then what?
I wrestled with these questions several years ago when our family was going through a tough time. Much was at stake, and despite numerous conversations with my husband, considering every option, it was clear that a sacrifice was required.
One morning, as I stared into my bathroom mirror — trying to ignore the knot in my stomach and holding back a wall of tears — I turned on my blow dryer and started drying my hair.
I asked again, “Lord, what if I can’t discern what You’re telling me? Will all the chaos and thoughts swirling in my mind drown out Your voice?”
As the high-pitched sound of my blow dryer blasted away, I began to hear another sound. It was muffled and faded, yet I was aware of it.
I ignored the sound at first, but even with my blow dryer going, I could still hear a familiar tone.
I turned off the blow dryer and surprisingly heard my friend Renee Swope. Confused at first, I walked into the bedroom and realized her voice was coming from the radio. She and Proverbs 31 Ministries President, Lysa TerKeurst, host a daily broadcast called “Everyday Life with Lysa and Renee.”
Renee and I have been friends for years. We’ve spent lots of time together engaging in honest and transparent conversations.
As I listened to Renee’s voice, the thought came to me, “Because you know Renee so well and have spent a lot of time with her, you can discern her voice, despite the overwhelming noise of the blow dryer.”
I realized God was teaching me a new truth about discerning His voice.
Just like my close relationship with Renee, God showed me that a close relationship with Him — based on truth, transparency and time invested — was essential to discerning His voice.
Over the years, as I’ve spent more time in God’s presence — through prayer, reading His Word and singing songs of worship — I’ve come to know Him better and recognize His voice.
Maybe you’ve felt like God has been silent lately. Like you’re not sure God actually speaks to you or that you’re capable of discerning His voice. If so, let me give you three things to consider:
Believe: Jesus said in John 8:47a, “Whoever belongs to God hears what God says” (NIV). If you’ve accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, then you belong to Him. You already have the capability of discerning God’s voice when He speaks to you. This happens through the work of the Holy Spirit.
Anticipate: 1 Samuel 3:9b says, “Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening” (NIV). What if we approached each day with an attitude of anticipation, making this verse a welcome invitation for the Lord to speak to us? Let’s set our hearts and minds to a place of readiness as we wait to hear from God.
Follow: Jesus said in John 10:27, “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me” (ESV). God doesn’t just speak to be heard. He speaks to be obeyed. When we discern God’s voice of direction or correction, we have to be willing to follow in obedience.
That day in my bathroom was a defining moment. I didn’t receive a specific answer to what our family was supposed to do. But I did receive a beautiful promise from God, that when the time was right, He would let us know. And no noise from this world would block out His voice, as long as we stayed close to Him.
Dear God, help me discern Your voice. Give me an attitude of anticipation to wake up every morning and say, “Speak, Lord, your servant is listening.” And when You speak, let me be faithful to follow and obey You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
TRUTH FOR TODAY:Isaiah 30:21, “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’” (NIV)
Jeremiah 33:3, “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” (NIV)
ME AGAIN….
First I want to say that God is absolutely amazing. I mean within seconds after closing out my conversation with my friend here was this little reminder.
I read it and I re-read it and then I began to speak out-loud to God. So has my heart been in such pain that I couldn’t absorb your voice, has my mind been so pre-occupied with my “what am I to do now ” that my brain has been foggy, or has the loneliness and the desire to be alone sometimes, caused my insides to push YOUR voice away?
I wanted to think none of those but I read the devotional again. The message in His word is pretty simple. STAY CLOSE TO ME, spend TIME with me, Show me your affection HE says. I don’t know about you but I need His guidance and His instruction, but most of all I simply need daily communion with HIM. FORGIVE me GOD for turning your volume down with my broken heart.